Kaoru's Depression Hikaru's Confession
by MagicalBubbles
Summary: Kaoru is feeling depressed and almost everyone is noticing. Hikaru just has some catching up to do. After having a panic attack and ending up in a hospital, Kaoru is left to talk things out with the person he doesn't want to see. Rated T for language!


Dc: I do not own OHSHC or its characters…I wish…

Kaoru sat alone in his dark bedroom and stared outside the window beside his bed with red puffy eyes, a clear indication he had been crying. He clenched and unclenched his left hand as his right hand gripped onto his chest where his heart was supposed to be. Kaoru's orange hair fell in front of his face, covering his pitiful hazel eyes and his breathing came out ragged and shallow. The haggard Kaoru winced slightly when his door was gently knocked upon and opened quietly to reveal his twin maids. He didn't dare turn around to face them as they both inched closer to their "master". The woman on the right reached out and brushed his finger tips on his shoulder before he yanked his arm away aggressively.

She drew her hand back and sighed. The two knew better than to approach Kaoru when he was acting this way, but they couldn't help but try to get him to at least smile. Neither one of the maids could figure out exactly what happened to their young master, but they knew it had something to do with his identical, and slightly older, twin brother Hikaru. The maids overheard Kaoru crying in his sleep and murmuring his twins name not even a couple nights ago when they walked in to check on him. Watching Kaoru suffer because of his brother was a surprise to not only the twin's personal maids, but to all of them because the infamous Hitachiin twins never separated and never fought. In fact, all of the maids and their parents knew that the twins had a special bond and were closer than normal siblings.

"What do you two want?" Kaoru spat out.

The twin maids didn't flinch at his sour tone, learning to get used to his constant outbursts. They knew he didn't mean them any harm and the cause of his strange outbursts was because he didn't know what to do with his overwhelming emotions. The maid on the left cleared her throat and forced on a small smile. "Your mother has requested you for dinner. She said she wanted to see her gorgeous son again after being in Paris for so long." She said her voice barely above a whisper.

Kaoru turned his head slightly to glance at the two fidgeting maids, letting a tear or two cascade down his flushed cheeks. "I don't want to see her and I don't want to eat." He croaked.

His maids' both gasped in unison and walked closer to Kaoru's shaking form. "You need to eat young master; you're all skin and bones. Your parents are worried about you, all the maids are too!" The woman on the right cried.

"What about Hikaru, does he care about me?" Kaoru asked dryly.

He didn't let his maids answer him and just laughed softly. "Of course he doesn't because he doesn't even talk to me anymore. And why is that? Oh right, he wanted to completely distance himself from me because he felt uncomfortable with me hanging out with him ever since he hooked up with Haruhi!" Kaoru trembled and collapsed onto his bed with his arm over his eyes. Heartbreaking sobs resonated throughout the room as Kaoru lay broken on his bed. "We're sorry for disturbing you young master. We will inform your mother of your choice and come back later to check on you." The twin maids said with sadness as they exit his room and closed the door behind them.

Kaoru finally alone, continued to cry into his arm and began to hyperventilate. His stomach began to churn and his body was drenched in sweat. Kaoru knew what was going on but he couldn't stop the attack. The tears streamed faster down his flushed face and his heart beat picked up. "H-Hikaru…" Kaoru whispered before passing out.

 _I just want him to be there for me…I want Hikaru. I love you Hikaru…I just wanted your love._

OoOo****OoOo

Kaoru woke up to a white blinding light and the soft exchange of words. He opened his eyes slowly and winced, taking note of the slight pain in his head and chest. He glanced at the people in the room but couldn't recognize them because his eyes couldn't see properly.

"Kaoru, you're okay!" He winced visibly as strong arms wound themselves around his small frame. It took him only a couple of seconds for his eyes to refocus and to see a mop of orange hair underneath his chin. He weakly returned the awkward hug. His eyes traveled to the worried faces of his mother and father. He slowly pushed Hikaru off of him with bemused eyes. The only thing on the young Hitachiin mind was: What the hell is going on?!

Kaoru closed his eyes and groaned as a burst of pain rattled through his body. Hikaru immediately grabbed his suffering brother's hand and started crying. "Kaoru, are you alright? You worried me so much!" He sobbed.

"What happened to me?" Kaoru coughed.

"You had a bad anxiety attack Kaoru." His mother whispered.

"The maids went into your room to check on you and noticed that you were asleep. But when they had a closer look you were having trouble with breathing and you were practically swimming in your own sweat," his father stepped closer to his trembling body and placed a warm hand on his shoulder. "They tried to wake you but they couldn't. Every time they touched you, you would scream and started kicking and punching at them. They rushed around to find me or your mom but failed, so they ran to Hikaru's room and found him. I thank whatever higher power is up there that your brother was actually home earlier than usual. He was the only one that could pick you up and bring you to the hospital." Kaoru glanced at his brother, who was staring intently at Kaoru.

Hikaru wrapped his arms around his twin once again and buried his face in Kaoru's chest. "I thought I was going to lose you!"

"Well you didn't," Kaoru hissed and pushed his brother away from him. "I'm still here, and you can drop the act Hikaru, I know you didn't really care that I could have died. You just wanted to look like some FUCKING HERO!" Kaoru growled.

Hikaru looked at his brother with a hurt expression. "K-Kaoru…"

Their parents exchanged a look of worry and decided it was best to leave their children alone for a bit. Secretly they knew that Kaoru acted depressed day in and day out because of Hikaru, and they knew that his sudden panic attack had to do with his mirror image as well. Kaoru watched with slight panic as his mother and father left him alone with his brother. He turned his glaring eyes back to his crying twin. He almost felt sorry for yelling at him. Almost.

"Kaoru, what did I do to make you hate me so much?" Hikaru cried. "I haven't even said anything to you or touched you! So why do you hate me?!"

Kaoru felt anger swell up inside of him as he stared at what he thought was he brother. "You are so fucking stupid! My own _twin_ brother can't even figure out why I'm so depressed and sad all the time. I'm upset because you won't talk to me or touch me or even look in my fucking direction at all! I'm done with being your shadow Hikaru. For once…for once in your life can you stop looking at your phone and texting Haruhi and hang out with me?" Kaoru's eyes started to water as his walls he spent so long building up began to break down in front of his own eyes. "But of course you can't be with me anymore because it's so awkward talking to your own brother and have a girlfriend at the same…time."

"Kaoru, I don't know what the hell you are saying because I always give you attention. I look at you and talk to you, but I can never get a reply because you are in your own little world and don't even notice me!" Hikaru stated.

Kaoru knew some of what he was saying was true. He didn't really pay attention to Hikaru and his antics because of his depression. But he did have one thing he could say that would possibly bring his brother down in their argument. Kaoru knew he was putting the last layers of his sanity walls at risk but he had to have the upper hand. Hikaru couldn't be right all the time.

"I don't respond because all you ever want to talk about is Haruhi. The only thing that comes out of your mouth is the bitch that stole you and stabbed my heart a billion times!" Kaoru broke down, his heart pounding against his rib cage.

Hikaru stood up and gripped his brothers wrist in a tight lock and glared daggers into his brothers eyes. His growing rage was enough to blind him of Kaoru's whine of pain. "Don't you EVER…cuss out my girlfriend…EVER!" He forced Kaoru's wrist above him and painfully yanked his arm back down.

"Ouch! Hikaru you monster, I hate you!" Kaoru sobbed his head spinning and his breaths becoming ragged. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Get out of here!" His brothers cries were enough to slap Hikaru back to reality. He looked with wide scared eyes as Kaoru held onto his wrist and hissed in pain and as his breathing became short and heavy. His words cut through him like a blade and he stumbled away from his twins bed, wearing a shocked expression. _I can't believe I hurt my brother. He's already in enough pain and I caused him more. I just want Kaoru to be happy and smile again._

"I just wanted you to care." Kaoru's cracking voice snapped Hikaru out of his thoughts as he looked at Kaoru.

"I do care Kaoru. I care because I love you," He stepped closer to his shaking twin and placed a hand to his sweaty forehead. "I never wanted to cause you any pain. But it looks like it's too late for that. I'm sorry for everything that I did. I just want you to be happy." Hikaru bent down and kissed Kaoru on his cheek and rested his head on his chest.

Kaoru looked at Hikaru through blurry eyes and offered a small sad smile. He had to forgive him, he couldn't do anything else. Hikaru's happiness was supposed to be Kaoru's happiness after all, and Kaoru couldn't stand to see his mirror image cry because of him, Vis a versa. So Kaoru ran a hand though Hikaru's hair and sighed. "I love you too, and I'm sorry for saying bad things about Haruhi. Even in anger I shouldn't say such things about your girlfriend and my friend. I was wrong." He buried his nose in Hikaru's hair and breathed in his scent.

Hikaru looked up and kissed Kaoru softly on the lips. When he pulled away he smirked at his brothers reaction. His eyes were wide open and his mouth was agape.

"Kaoru, I'm in love with you. It kills me when you're upset and I felt so terrible to not have noticed that I was causing you pain." Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru's frail body.

"What about Haruhi?"

"She always knew I didn't really love her. She had a feeling that I loved you more than I should. I came home early last night because she told me I should tell you before it was too late." Hikaru frowned and hugged his brother closer to his body.

"Hikaru…I love you so much." Kaoru wrapped his arms around his brother to complete the hug.

Their parents walked in and smiled warmly at their sons. "Let's go out for ice cream boys. I can tell that you two resolved any problem you had before."  
Their mother beamed.

"Kaoru we will be waiting in the waiting room for you. Your doctor just has to test a few more things and then we can go. Come on Hikaru!" Their father said.

Hikaru pulled away from Kaoru and smiled. "I love you." He whispered before heading out of the small hospital room, his parents hot on his heels. Kaoru smiled to himself. "This is a beautiful start to a wonderful relationship." He smiled.

THE END

I know the ending sucked…maybe rushed it on Hikaru's feelings. And I know he was so protective when Kaoru called Haruhi a bitch and then said he loved him after…I'm even confusing myself. Anyways…besides that…(and how terrible their argument was…) I will be back shortly to write more things! Next Im going to write about Hikaru and Kaoru as children!


End file.
